Refuse to Lose

Insecurity is ugly. 

I think I can speak for most of us when I say that we all have insecurities. They don’t have to be big drama filled moments, but even that split second when you readjust your dress because you noticed a tummy roll, or you don’t tooth smile because of the crookedness in a couple of your teeth, they are still inward insecurities.

It is okay to have them. I truly believe that real, organic confidence would not exist without them. I think we have to learn to accept the things we cannot change about ourselves, embrace them with the same kind of love we embrace the good things with.

As I get older, I feel less and less insecure in my own skin. It hurts my feelings to see others who still struggle tremendously to find the strength to not allow their insecurities consume their lives.

Especially in relationships.

The only thing uglier than inward insecurities are the ones that are projected outward for all the world to see. Obviously to be imperfect is human, and I am not perfect either (surprise) but there is this weird thing happening in regard to insecurities. More popularly on social media platforms.

I like to refer to it this way:

Social media is the fire hydrant and the insecure person is the dog taking a piss on it.

Look. I have been that person. I get it. In my fucking twenties. Consider your behavior. Consider who sees your figurative privates out. Consider how damaging to your relationship it is to blow up the spot like that.

Lastly – consider the relationship itself. If you are reacting in such a way, and you find this cyclical pattern to consume you, is this relationship worth perpetuating the drama in your own life?

Ooh. Probably not.

As mad as you might be for whatever the reason is, or as jealous you might be about this not relevant person in your significant others life … regardless of the baggage you have from previous relationships … remember that after all is said and done – you look like the insecure asshole.

Silence is deafening and it speaks louder than actual words do. Think about these words.

In many situations such as these where I very well could be an insecure asshole, I look at it like a game. The one who reacts first, loses. Big time. Being the fact that I am Monica Gellar … I would rather be silent than let the other person win. At the end of all of the bullshit – my stubborn refusal to lose the game in my own head has saved me from being the insecure asshole in more situations than I can count on all of my fingers and toes.

Maybe you should join me.